you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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