I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
