I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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