The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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