Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
