That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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