I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
