North Korea, Best Korea!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I need water and some morals
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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