You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
