ugly people sure do ruin things
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm always down for nudity.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
