I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
