I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
