Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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