all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize