haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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