He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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