my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
