the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
not ubering you a puppy
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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