i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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