Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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