honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
