He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize