His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
