i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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