In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
