Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
