i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
