3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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