Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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