the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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