i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
