no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
cat food counts as protein by the way
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
