i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
