The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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