I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
