omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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