why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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