Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Terrible idea I love it
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize