I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
