are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
