Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
