Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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