you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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