He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
