Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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