I'm really into asian looking animals
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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