i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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