I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
