The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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