alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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