Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
