One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
