When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
