I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize