she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
