I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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