Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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