end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
