my vag is so smooth its legendary
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You may now shotgun with the bride
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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